The Four Qualities of the Heart
The practice of the four brahmavihara are essential to truly breaking down the perceived barriers between self and other:
1) Friendliness toward the joyful - August
2) Compassion for those who are suffering - Sept
3) Celebrating the good in others - Oct
4) Remaining impartial to the faults & imperfections of others - Nov
(yoga sutra 1.33)
As householder yogis, these four attitudes can be most useful. If you go off and live in a cave, there is less opportunity for testing your spiritual fitness in the presence of others. Most of us live real lives with all sorts of people and relationships that test us. Taking our Yoga off the mat and into the real world, can be a very powerful tool for personal growth and transformation. When we practice these four brahmavihara we can cease what I like to call the “spiraling” of emotions and mental unrest that comes from unresolved or unsettled relationships.
August Monthly Theme: Friendliness toward the joyful – it is easier to start with this one to gain the confidence we need to live more compassionately toward all.
"The first brahmavihara is perhaps the easiest, and that is simply to extend our friendship toward people who are already pleasantly disposed toward us. We can do this in very real terms--by extending assistance and support to friends when they need us and by availing ourselves of the same support. Without being indiscriminate, we can assume friendliness toward others in our daily interactions and by doing so wear away at the thickness of our skin. Clearly, it is easier to be friendly with someone who likes us or someone we admire, so by starting with an easy practice we gain confidence in our ability to live compassionately." ~ Donna Fahri
We'd love to hear from you about your experience, practice or wisdom regarding the first of these four qualities. Today, practice kindness and friendship toward someone you like or admire. This first step toward living a life of true compassion is an important one to practice. It helps us with the more difficult ones.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The Four Qualities of the Heart
The practice of the four brahmavihara are essential to truly breaking down the perceived barriers between self and other:
1) Friendliness toward the joyful - August
2) Compassion for those who are suffering - Sept
3) Celebrating the good in others - Oct
4) Remaining impartial to the faults & imperfections of others - Nov
(yoga sutra 1.33)
September Theme: Compassion for those who are suffering – At first glance, this may seem easy, but compassion and empathy are different than pity. Many of us are distanced from real suffering, so may pity those who are suffering and believe this pity to be compassion or understanding. We may even further distance ourselves and see these people as invisible.
How can we develop true compassion without being overwhelmed by it? We can start with what feels most real to us. Your greatest suffering can be turned into your greatest gift for developing empathy toward others. Where have you suffered in your life? The greatest gift Yoga has given to me is to learn that everyone has a story, and that most of us have been doing our best to survive or thrive based on our stories or assumed identities in the best way we know how.
Judgment is a way to distance ourselves from someone else's suffering by essentially blaming them for it. In doing this, we create the illusion that this perceived distance somehow protects US from the possibility of suffering. We create this illusory protective bubble of false happiness. Really, we are all connected, we can not truly separate ourselves. This false protective bubble is a tightly controlled field of "happiness" that is not true joy.
We all have suffering and joy in our lives. There is universal suffering and universal joy, and if we can see ourselves as part of something bigger, and begin to see everyone as some small part of ourselves, we can begin to develop more compassion and understanding and less pity, guilt, and judgment.
We'd love to hear from you about your experience, practice or wisdom related to how you experience true compassion without pity or guilt. Go to the Flow Yoga Facebook page, become a "Friend", and share your experience about practicing this month's brahmavihara: www.facebook.com/home.php
1) Friendliness toward the joyful - August
2) Compassion for those who are suffering - Sept
3) Celebrating the good in others - Oct
4) Remaining impartial to the faults & imperfections of others - Nov
(yoga sutra 1.33)
September Theme: Compassion for those who are suffering – At first glance, this may seem easy, but compassion and empathy are different than pity. Many of us are distanced from real suffering, so may pity those who are suffering and believe this pity to be compassion or understanding. We may even further distance ourselves and see these people as invisible.
How can we develop true compassion without being overwhelmed by it? We can start with what feels most real to us. Your greatest suffering can be turned into your greatest gift for developing empathy toward others. Where have you suffered in your life? The greatest gift Yoga has given to me is to learn that everyone has a story, and that most of us have been doing our best to survive or thrive based on our stories or assumed identities in the best way we know how.
Judgment is a way to distance ourselves from someone else's suffering by essentially blaming them for it. In doing this, we create the illusion that this perceived distance somehow protects US from the possibility of suffering. We create this illusory protective bubble of false happiness. Really, we are all connected, we can not truly separate ourselves. This false protective bubble is a tightly controlled field of "happiness" that is not true joy.
We all have suffering and joy in our lives. There is universal suffering and universal joy, and if we can see ourselves as part of something bigger, and begin to see everyone as some small part of ourselves, we can begin to develop more compassion and understanding and less pity, guilt, and judgment.
We'd love to hear from you about your experience, practice or wisdom related to how you experience true compassion without pity or guilt. Go to the Flow Yoga Facebook page, become a "Friend", and share your experience about practicing this month's brahmavihara: www.facebook.com/home.php
Honoring the Good
The practice of the four brahmavihara are essential to truly breaking down the perceived barriers between self and other:
1) Friendliness toward the joyful - August
2) Compassion for those who are suffering - Sept
3) Honoring the good in others - Oct
4) Remaining impartial to the faults & imperfections of others - Nov
(yoga sutra 1.33)
Mudita Punya ~ Honoring the Good in Others
Mudita=delight punya=virtuous The third quality, or brahmavihara, is "delight in the virtuous".
Of the four supreme attitudes (or, ways in which we live as our truest nature) the honoring of the basic goodness of others is essential to freedom and happiness. In some relationships or interactions, we may make the mistake of believing that our fears and insecurities are actually true, and in so doing, miss Reality. We can believe that another is somehow better than ourselves, and feel envious of them or intimdated by them. In turn, we miss that we are actually One, and by any judgment or evaluation of other, we only come to the illusion of suffering and separation.
By acknowledging the basic goodness of ourselves and others, we come to interactions and relationships from a place that is grounded in Reality. This is not to say that every interaction is going to be pleasant or nourishing to us, it is just to say that seeing life in terms of basic goodness puts us in a proper relationship with things as they are.
There is an enormous love and freedom that arises when we cease to view ourselves and others in terms of 'what's wrong' and begin to view things as being rooted in essential Good.
It isn't even necessary to believe in this goodness, simply by allowing the possibility to see it we will begin to see inherent goodness everywhere...we will cease comparing ourselves to others and celebrate our diverse goodness.
May we see each other for the Basic Goodness that we ARE~
1) Friendliness toward the joyful - August
2) Compassion for those who are suffering - Sept
3) Honoring the good in others - Oct
4) Remaining impartial to the faults & imperfections of others - Nov
(yoga sutra 1.33)
Mudita Punya ~ Honoring the Good in Others
Mudita=delight punya=virtuous The third quality, or brahmavihara, is "delight in the virtuous".
Of the four supreme attitudes (or, ways in which we live as our truest nature) the honoring of the basic goodness of others is essential to freedom and happiness. In some relationships or interactions, we may make the mistake of believing that our fears and insecurities are actually true, and in so doing, miss Reality. We can believe that another is somehow better than ourselves, and feel envious of them or intimdated by them. In turn, we miss that we are actually One, and by any judgment or evaluation of other, we only come to the illusion of suffering and separation.
By acknowledging the basic goodness of ourselves and others, we come to interactions and relationships from a place that is grounded in Reality. This is not to say that every interaction is going to be pleasant or nourishing to us, it is just to say that seeing life in terms of basic goodness puts us in a proper relationship with things as they are.
There is an enormous love and freedom that arises when we cease to view ourselves and others in terms of 'what's wrong' and begin to view things as being rooted in essential Good.
It isn't even necessary to believe in this goodness, simply by allowing the possibility to see it we will begin to see inherent goodness everywhere...we will cease comparing ourselves to others and celebrate our diverse goodness.
May we see each other for the Basic Goodness that we ARE~
Detachment & Indifference
Indifference Toward the Imperfections of Others
The practice of the four brahmavihara are essential to truly breaking down the perceived barriers between self and other:
1) Friendliness toward the joyful - August
2) Compassion for those who are suffering - Sept
3) Honoring the good in others - Oct
4) Remaining impartial to the faults & imperfections of others - Nov
(yoga sutra 1.33)
Practicing detachment or indifference toward those who have harmed us or others in word or deed is the most difficult of all the brahmavihara. However, it is important practice for true peace. The time and energy that goes into creating enemy energy is completely not worthwhile. The negative energy we put into any feeling of hate will never serve us.
If we get still and very quiet for enough time, listening deeply, we will get a signal to turn our attention away from it. The ego tries to get us into creating enemy relationships so we can analyze and judge someone else so that we can feel “right” and better about who we are. At a much deeper level, if we really listen without internal chatter, we know this never works. It never feels quite right. We even try to get others involved in our “fight” and feel more justified in our behavior by the involvement of others. Or, instead, some of us become attached to the idea of becoming a victim to someone else’s bad behavior. Of course, this is disempowering, and not useful.
This takes Tapas, or fire. It can feel like burning to soften, and find the humility and strength to forgive. To let go of the ego's need to be right or justified in battle, initially, burns like fire. It means taking responsibility for our own peace without involving anyone else. It means realizing that truly, deeply, that which bothers us the most about someone else, may be a pattern of our own ego being reflected back to us.
If truly necessary for our overall health, we can remove our selves from a relationship and/or set discriminate and healthy boundaries while letting go of all the emotions and energy of attachment to that person.
I see this as a two-part realization. First, putting down the sword, or the shield, whichever fictitious weapon one has created in this illusory battle of the ego. Second, forgiving ourselves and the other to truly get past the anger, resentment, hurt, or any other feeling that arose. For the battle was never real anyway, even though our ego got so involved in the drama, the battle, the story...the Truth is that we can not harm anyone else without harming ourselves. There is no separation, only the projection of separation the ego creates.
Here are some great quotes by Mahatma Gandhi, a great teacher and example on this matter:
In fire and Love,
Stephanie
The practice of the four brahmavihara are essential to truly breaking down the perceived barriers between self and other:
1) Friendliness toward the joyful - August
2) Compassion for those who are suffering - Sept
3) Honoring the good in others - Oct
4) Remaining impartial to the faults & imperfections of others - Nov
(yoga sutra 1.33)
Practicing detachment or indifference toward those who have harmed us or others in word or deed is the most difficult of all the brahmavihara. However, it is important practice for true peace. The time and energy that goes into creating enemy energy is completely not worthwhile. The negative energy we put into any feeling of hate will never serve us.
If we get still and very quiet for enough time, listening deeply, we will get a signal to turn our attention away from it. The ego tries to get us into creating enemy relationships so we can analyze and judge someone else so that we can feel “right” and better about who we are. At a much deeper level, if we really listen without internal chatter, we know this never works. It never feels quite right. We even try to get others involved in our “fight” and feel more justified in our behavior by the involvement of others. Or, instead, some of us become attached to the idea of becoming a victim to someone else’s bad behavior. Of course, this is disempowering, and not useful.
This takes Tapas, or fire. It can feel like burning to soften, and find the humility and strength to forgive. To let go of the ego's need to be right or justified in battle, initially, burns like fire. It means taking responsibility for our own peace without involving anyone else. It means realizing that truly, deeply, that which bothers us the most about someone else, may be a pattern of our own ego being reflected back to us.
If truly necessary for our overall health, we can remove our selves from a relationship and/or set discriminate and healthy boundaries while letting go of all the emotions and energy of attachment to that person.
I see this as a two-part realization. First, putting down the sword, or the shield, whichever fictitious weapon one has created in this illusory battle of the ego. Second, forgiving ourselves and the other to truly get past the anger, resentment, hurt, or any other feeling that arose. For the battle was never real anyway, even though our ego got so involved in the drama, the battle, the story...the Truth is that we can not harm anyone else without harming ourselves. There is no separation, only the projection of separation the ego creates.
Here are some great quotes by Mahatma Gandhi, a great teacher and example on this matter:
- Hate the sin, love the sinner.
- I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.
- In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.
- The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
- When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always.
- You must be the change you want to see in the world.
- You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
In fire and Love,
Stephanie
Stillness, Darkness & Illumination
Today is the darkest day of the year. Since the beginning of times, we have celebrated this darkest time of the year. In the natural darkness, it is time for stillness and illumination. To come "indoors" for quiet times and reflective moments, balanced with inner light, illumination, and celebration. Winter is the time for hibernation, incubation, reflection, rejuvenation, contemplation, and completion in preparation for the new. Here is a poem Sybil wrote in celebration for this time of year: My body still and wise I trust The design so well thought , the love poured in and the life well lived My body still and wise I trust My age and my movement brings me deeper into questions and seeking My body still and wise I trust What I can imagine and see of the perfection has never dwindled in me My body still and wise I trust It is all possible for me and therefore true for you My body still and wise I trust Higher self and limitless love I exude My body still and wise I trust Guide me through this discomfort and still my doing so I can hear exactly what to be I align myself with truth I trust in the stillness and now I know where and how I am meant to be Happy Holidays and Winter Solstice. |  |  |
Pushti ~ Grace
Its January, if setting goals this year, perhaps, consider a different approach. Allow space for deep awareness. Do you set a similar goal each year, deeply fearful that you dont really know how to change, or not really wanting the change that you think you should want?
True transformation, in itself, does not come from effort, but from Grace. Pushti, or grace, is the path of doing the work, without regard to the fruits of our actions. This is a karmic practice. It is creating space for whatever practice brings you deeper awareness of all that you are, and all that you are not. Allowing, accepting, admitting, and deeply loving yourself and others while trusting in the deeper wisdom of the universe. In this way, we experience, santosha, contentment within the entire experience of life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Being grateful for the joys and the sorrows, realizing that they both enrich our experience and teach us so much. From this deep awareness, eventually we find loving acceptance, and the grace of contentment.
So, as we move from the inspiration of a new year, moving from dark to light, from old to new, this year, we do so with just a little more awareness. Perhaps, take your proposed "goal" and sit with it in silence and notice what comes up for you. Is there a feeling of lightness and fulfillment, or is there a sense of dread, fear, shame, or resistance?
If a sense of lightness, than it is probably in line with your true nature and a realistic empowered intention...you have done the work and are naturally ready for the grace of transformation. In this case, there will be little you have to "do", will require little effort, and will feel natural and light.
If there is fear, there is more awareness and loving acceptance to be learned and processed, from a psychological and/or spiritual place. Where is the fear coming from, if it is present? This practice is not a quick fix, but with the continued openness that comes from really paying attention in a loving way, eventually, it will come. Continuing your yoga practice, meditation, satsang privately with a teacher, or within your sangha/community, communing with nature, or any other practice that brings you still moments, deep reflections, or realizations that create space for awareness, will pave your way.
The difference between a goal and an intention is that an intention carries a different energy with it. It is more present. It is in line with our true nature and is realistic for us, in this moment. There is not a fear of failure or a sense that we are not already whole, but, instead, an empowered sense of strength and inspiration. It is not far out in the future, but Here Now.
True transformation, in itself, does not come from effort, but from Grace. Pushti, or grace, is the path of doing the work, without regard to the fruits of our actions. This is a karmic practice. It is creating space for whatever practice brings you deeper awareness of all that you are, and all that you are not. Allowing, accepting, admitting, and deeply loving yourself and others while trusting in the deeper wisdom of the universe. In this way, we experience, santosha, contentment within the entire experience of life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Being grateful for the joys and the sorrows, realizing that they both enrich our experience and teach us so much. From this deep awareness, eventually we find loving acceptance, and the grace of contentment.
So, as we move from the inspiration of a new year, moving from dark to light, from old to new, this year, we do so with just a little more awareness. Perhaps, take your proposed "goal" and sit with it in silence and notice what comes up for you. Is there a feeling of lightness and fulfillment, or is there a sense of dread, fear, shame, or resistance?
If a sense of lightness, than it is probably in line with your true nature and a realistic empowered intention...you have done the work and are naturally ready for the grace of transformation. In this case, there will be little you have to "do", will require little effort, and will feel natural and light.
If there is fear, there is more awareness and loving acceptance to be learned and processed, from a psychological and/or spiritual place. Where is the fear coming from, if it is present? This practice is not a quick fix, but with the continued openness that comes from really paying attention in a loving way, eventually, it will come. Continuing your yoga practice, meditation, satsang privately with a teacher, or within your sangha/community, communing with nature, or any other practice that brings you still moments, deep reflections, or realizations that create space for awareness, will pave your way.
The difference between a goal and an intention is that an intention carries a different energy with it. It is more present. It is in line with our true nature and is realistic for us, in this moment. There is not a fear of failure or a sense that we are not already whole, but, instead, an empowered sense of strength and inspiration. It is not far out in the future, but Here Now.
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